so... i have this blog and I know at least two people look at it but still sometimes I just don't know what to say on here even though there are many thoughts skipping across my mind constantly.
i'm always thinking about something. it's rare when i'm blank but it happens.
do you have one or two things that are persistently making you think of them?
or it? yet this life is so short and still fear keeps me from saying or doing what i really desire.
why am i so afraid of rejection? like last night at the airport there was an elderly man standing with a grip on his wheel chair and a cane in the seat. He was waiting for the little roller coaster thingy to bring his luggage. He had to brace himself to get a grip on that luggage, and i wanted to help him, but i was afraid he'd reject my help. Well he grabbed it with some difficulty and so i thought just ask! just ask! so when he was struggling a little to put that bag in the seat of the wheelchair I did it! I asked can i help you and without looking at me, he said, no i got it. I turned away quickly, feeling stupid and tried to pretend i never asked.
but i did. ask.
i get it, men don't like women to help them with stuff like that, which isn't bad but... i don't know. all i know is that i asked even though i was afraid.